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Ouatic-7 [userpic]
Whinging from Ouatic

I would like some honest opinions am I being an anal bitch (OK, pilgham and MD would confirm that I am but I mean in this instance) or do I have a case?

My RL anime do was today and all went fine until the end. I said, "Please check under your chairs for crumbs." Then I put away all my AV stuff which took about 10 minutes. During that time a few people left.

When I was done, I scanned the room for noticeable piles of crumbs and there was one next to two members. I was pretty sure it was their crumbs but not 100% so I got down on my hands and knees (which hurts, by the way) and picked up the crumbs. I was expecting the individuals to say something like, "Oh, let me get those," but that didn't happen.

I don't like going and feeling I have to be 'mother.' It kind of takes the fun out of it.

Poll #979878 O-7, Is She Old Enough to Know Better?

On noticing the crumbs, I should have:

repeated the comment about checking for crumbs louder.
asked the members, "Could you please tidy those up?"
ignored them; the library will vacuum anyways.
clean up the crumbs and quit the group in a huff.
done something that will be explained in the comments.

I can't change the way I reacted this afternoon. In the future I should:

quit to keep my blood pressure down.
just bear it; it's an unavoidable side effect of these kind of groups.
be more assertive about asking people to clean up.
call in the ninja wizards on their asses.
do something that will be explained in the comments.

I think I'm feeling a bit unappreciated by the group which may be contributing to my whininess.

Mood: irritatedwhiny
Tune: Gore, Lesley - [Sixties: More Groovy Hits #03] It's My Party

i feel that you should call in a voodoo priest. Have a curse placed on the ones that do not clean up after themselves.

Do you know a good Voudoun here in the Midwest?

I'm not sure if you'd be willing to invest in something like this or not (or maybe take up a collection?), but would it be possible to purchase a portable vacuum cleaner (I think you can get one for $20 at the local convenience store)? This way you could advise people to pick up their disposables and assign one person per group to go around and vacuum under everyone's chair.

And I feel bad. I haven't had a chance to go to one of your meetings yet :( I should have gone this weekend except I feared the wrath of parents scorned ^_^

Pity you didn't make it because, other than the crumbs it was a pretty good meeting. We watched Ghost Hunt, Aishiteruze Baby, Loveless (Which was not my cup of tea or the guy's) and Fumoffu. So there was a wide range of stuff, some older and some newer.

The vacuum isn't a bad idea. I hadn't though of delegating and I like that, regardless of the vacuum; just make some random member 'Mother' for the day.

I'm going to agree that delegating is the way to go. Designate a clean-up drudge at the beginning of the evening, and don't martyr your knees any more.

Some people are clueless (some willfully) about the concept of contributing to a group effort, but naming someone in front of everybody to a responsibility should penetrate the thickest otaku head. You won't get stuck doing everything, and your blood pressure will thank you.

I'm all in favor of not martyring my knees but how do we/I insure that the drudge does an acceptable job?

On the first question, in most circumstances I'd go for the first two items, restating the comment and then, if that doesn't work (and it probably won't) asking the people nearby to clean up those crumbs. However, I'd want to keep my options open in case I want to quit. In that case, I'd probably point at the crumbs, sniff loudly, and THEN quit in a huff.

You can call ninja wizards?! I think two of my friends would like that contact; they're having trouble getting their kids to do any housework.

*shifts eyes*

I can't just give that number out, but, may I suggest a custom voodoo doll or two?


I really wanted to pick 'tell them to pick up the crumbs LOUDER' because that's exactly what I always feel like doing - and sometimes do - to get Anna and the neighbor kid to pick up. I'm mean when frustrated. Alas, being loud only makes that blood pressure rise even more. Perhaps you should bribe some member to do clean-up? I don't want you on your hands and knees.

Wait, I should rephrase that. *evil snicker*

But what would I use for a bribe?

The consensus seems to be delegation but I what do I use for bribe/enforcement?

The library surely has a carpet sweeper. Borrow it at the beginning of the evening, state to the group that you had a problem with the crumbs being left and volunteer somebody to sweep up each night as you have all the stuff to pack up but you fear losing the meeting place. Then threaten them with voodoo and get on with the meeting.

Can you come with me next time? I'll say you're the voudoun.

I think you're right to be upset. They're adults and being considerate isn't something you should have asked them to do, yet you did and they ignored you. I don't blame you for feeling unappreciated.

I wouldn't have gotten on my hands and knees to clean up someone else's crumbs, though. Can you get your hands on one of those little carpet sweepers? And maybe put up a sign with big bold letters stating something like, "Please leave the room in the same way you found it, morons." Feel free to paraphrase it to fit your own voice.

Is there a reason you and Noko are suggesting carpet sweepers instead of Dustbusters? I've never used either so I'm totally ignorant here.

That is the unfortuneate part of society, some people are and will always be nothing but awful slobs. Getting on the floor was only making yourself upset 'cause it wouldn't have gotten through those skulls.

Perhaps at the next meeting try telling them that a sur-charge will now be charged from every member for cleaning services seeing that there are members are incapable of cleaning up after themselves.

The term is Garbage In, Garbage Out.

If not... hand everyone who walks in a garbage bag and tell them to use it.

I do agree you have every right to be upset especially if you are the one responsible for the state of the room.

Or not permit anyone to bring in any food or water into the meetings.

The meetings are about 4 hours long and, I have to say, after sitting through one without beverage I was parched so I bring the Diet Coke.

I have asked people to not bring crumby snacks but it is less the snacks than the person eating. Some are tidy and some, apparently, think it is funny to be messy.

Are you old enough to know better?

Hmm, well, just because one is younger or part of a certain lifestyle (like anime freak for instance, lol) doesn't mean they are automatically excused from practicing proper manners, that everyone like them is expected to be rude! No matter how old someone is, no matter what they do, there is no excuse for bad manners and messy behavior!

As to what you should do/what you should have done about it, I don't know. Perhaps next time giving such people a detailed explanation of why you want the crumbs picked up would be beneficial? Some people, however, no matter how much explaining one does, will just never care. It's nothing to disban the group over, and nothing to raise a huge stink about, but it should be addressed and dealt with somehow if it happens continuously. Just don't let it get in the way of what the club is all about :)

There was a huge, relatively speaking, wank in the group about crumbs and stuff back in January. Explanations have been given. It's one of the things I mean by not liking having to be 'mother'; nagging is no fun for anyone.

Something like this would make me very angry, but mostly at myself for not anticipating a problem. I would try to head it off at the next meeting by making a general statement about being embarrassed by the condition of the room after members vacated and assign someone to clean up afterwards.

I'm also comfortable with blocking an exit with my body and telling the group that no-one is leaving until the room is picked up.

A third option is to tell the group before the showing that if they can't pick up after themselves before they leave later they might as well leave now.

I would not pick up after them.

My answer in the poll was 'ignore it, the library will vacuum anyways' but it sounds to me that for you, this is not really an option. I have fibromyalgia and lupus and it is tough to get up and down. I have arthritis (albeit mild) with the lupus.

I would not pick up after them...even if it didn't hurt to kneel.

I do think it's an unavoidable side effect of most groups though. I don't like most people so I avoid groups of them if I can. Driving is quite a challenge.

...if you can get to your vehicle quickly enough you might want to consider running a couple of them over.

Well, there are a couple I could do without, even aside from crumbs....