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Ouatic-7 [userpic]
Help!!! Please?

I need advice on cookie sheets. I detroyed one over the holidays so I'm down to 2. Not so bad as I actually meant to replace them last year but couldn't decide what to get. The two I have remaining are both aluminum, the same size but not the same gauge. One came from a recycling bin and the other I bought when I had my first apartment..

The main things I use them for are the rye rolls and baking frozen pizza though I have, on occasion, produced cookies.

I do not wash things by hand so they must go in the dishwasher. Non-stick is good. I've heard black is bad because it absorbs too much heat so cookies, and I presume, rolls will be dark on the bottom.

So cookie sheets you love or hate, please let me know.

I'm not good with characterization so I need a little help.

It's 1550. How does Sesshoumaru refer to his erect penis?

I don't buy "This Little Sesshoumaru" as it's too, um, diminutive.

Hakama dragon? The other tai-youkai?

Suggestions eagerly welcomed; funny is fine.

Edit: For bonus points, how 'bout Jaken? "Mighty Staff of Love"?

Thanks much.

Mood: hopefulhopeful

Kaiser Cookie Sheets have an extended edge that makes it easy to pick up. they are about 11.95 from cooking.com.

Some Japanese texts mention tent poles or sledgehammers. Willie Winkie doesn't seem to be in there.

Pans with edges aren't cookie sheets; cookie sheets have at least two edges without rims. This lets air circulate properly around the whole thing you're baking.

Me, I use sheets like these, heavy duty and versatile.

If you're worried about burning or sticking, get parchment paper or even splurge and get some Silpats--first recommended to me by Becky, the pastry chef.

I hate any pans with layers of air, but I can't recall what specifically put me off of them in the first place. It's not just that they make it hard to brown stuff.

PHOO! Cook's magazine says they are! GAH!

I have one silpat. The one time I used it, the item took way too long to cook, according to package directions. Of course, in subsequent attempts without the silpat, I had the same results so I should probably give it another try.

I used to use parchment but I ran out of the immense stack of sheets I had and I'm too chintzy for those teeny rolls at the grocery store.

Thanks for the cookie sheet rec.

I have a ceramic pizza stone that's been sitting on the lower rack of my oven for years. It seems to even the temperature in the oven out and works well as a bake stone too.

I have parchement paper, but somehow never use it right. Oh, well, my souffles are good anyway.

I had a pizza stone for years and never used it, except last time I was baking frozen pizzas I hauled it out because I was short a cookie sheet. It broke in the oven. I don't plan to replace it anytime soon, though.

Wow. I use my pizza stone religiously, for baking just about everything. It's probably the most used kitchen utensil in the house.

Like I said, mine never makes it out of the oven.

Erect penis? This little Sesshoumaru? You've officially shocked the heck out of me! I've just never heard you talk dirty before. :)

But since you are...let's see. Sesshoumaru erection euphemisms are not easy. Mini-me? Oh wait, too diminutive again. Throbbing python of love. Ha joking. Package..um no. Phallus..no needs more color. Salty dog, slit-eyed demon...um, maybe. Staff of life...getting closer.

Rod of Lordly Might - yes, that's it!

As for Jaken...'Feel the power of the Staff of Two Heads' could cause some misconceptions where his anatomy is concerned.

Aching green member
mini-battering ram
baloney pony
bean stalk
chief of staff
giant-sized imp-thing
hidden treasure
Mr. Toad's wild ride

I <3 Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

Something of an armish nature did occur to me for Sess but I couldn't make it work. In case you didn't already infer it, this is for that thing for jaken_smut I mentioned a few weeks ago.

I thought as much and am still looking forward to it - yay for you!

Were you trying, 'my third arm?' I think I saw something like that on the link to bad euphemisms.

Wait, the third arm thing wouldn't work for obvious reasons!

And it was 'third arm of justice', at any rate.

It was the 'third arm of justice' thing that made me mention it.

As I said, I couldn't get it to work but I believe I was thinking along the lines of 'my other arm'.

I knew a guy once who would actually use these sorts of euphemisms - he was a joker that one. He would 'talk' to his penis (was Canadian, maybe all Canadians do this). First time, he was having an 'argument' with his penis, pointing and asking, 'Now why do you have to go and do that. Come on, now, you can't do this NOW. Get up!'. I thought he was crazy at first (back when I took sex more seriously) but I eventually got used to it and laughed right along!

I laughed, I cried (brought back memories) at the mega-quote! The memo-form were truly ingenious. Especially liked the part about Irene not being on her body's 'voting board', although uterus was.

Thanks, we were getting too much dick on this post, needed a break. :)

Oh and almost forgot to add that I broke in a new Wearever insulated baking pan this Christmas and loved it. I'd recommend it.

as for me...i just go out and buy the non stick Shopko special. oh wait...you mention that you do not have a Shopko. okokokokok Make it the Target special (You notice i am avoiding saying that one store name)(it's a union thing)

that does remind me...i need a new broiling pan.

'Sword' is probably over-used, but it seems to fit so well in this instance. Hakama dragon was good, too.

Big fella?

You know, not *all* men have a nickname for it...

And as for the cookie sheets, I've never bothered to buy the nice kind, so no help there.

Well, that's what I need to know. If Sess doesn't have a nickname for it, how does he mentally refer to it? Or if he's talking dirty, what does he say? (notice my mealy mouthedness here)

Silly. You know perfectly well it is just; me, myself, I. The weird thing is naming it. It is much dirtier to ask, "Do you like me ramming myself into to you?" As opposed to, "Do you want my Big Henry in you now?"

That would be a clue for the girl to get out of the bed; too crowded for sure.

It is hard to imagine Sesshoumaru saying, "The Big Dog wants to come out and play. Grrrr."

Let's see...I think in a normal situation, Sesshoumaru would refer to his penis as just that--his penis. Someone of such high, snobbish authority as this Sesshoumaru would only use proper speech in referring to that certain member of his body.

As for talking dirty while gettin' it on...

Can't think of anything more clever than what others above have mentioned, but for some reason I keep wanting to somehow associate his fluff with it...perhaps a play on words with the Moki-moki-sama (I think that's what Takahashi-san called it) would do...

As for Jaken...

Horny Toad?
Green Giant?
Green Member?
Little Green Friend? (that one's pretty lame)
Spoutin'-Ryu-Ha! (play on Inuyasha's attack Bakuryuha)

Can't think of any more at the moment...Tyler's being a butthead and trying to steal my cordless mouse.

As for the cookie sheet thing...not much help to you there. I use one of the sheets like you described, put the cookie dough on, throw it in the oven, and hope for the best. However, sometimes I do put wax paper over the sheet before applying the dough...

If he's so proper, maybe he's just as mealy mouthed as me and says 'my self' or 'my member'.

Spoutin'-Ryu-Ha' -- Jaken would never imitate Inuyasha in any way. Now, Sesshoumaru? Yes, he wants to be like the boss so maybe 'yokubaiga' which is my pidgin Japanese for 'lust fang'.

Heh, heh. Can't get away from youkai penis references lately.

I sorta think he's too dignified to have a 'special' name for it, like was mentioned. 'Lust Fang' is funny too, but I can't see him having a pet-name for it. :)

Here's a hentai picture for you (Sorry, not Sesshoumaru but the still on the 'penis' topic. It was doctored from the recent manga chapter on Ear-Tweak.):

Good luck with your cookies and penis names. ~_^

I use a baking stone with a Silpat on top, and cookies always turn out spectacular. Even if I leave them in the oven a few minutes too long, they never burn - turn out a little too crispy for my taste, maybe, but never burnt. Foolproof baking, it is.

US Military Terms

"Short Arm" (as in "Fall In for Short Arms Inspection!!")
"Gun" (I've been told an apocryphal story of a grunt in boot camp who called his rifle "a gun", and was punished by his DS by being forced to run nude around the compound with his rifle in one hand and his penis in the other, yelling "This is my rifle, This is my gun, One is a weapon, One is for fun!")