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Sauce for the Gander, Take 2

I have edited the piece a bit, adding a bit of background for Europa, Danae and Thetis (thanks to calliope07's excellent suggestion) and removing some typos nobody bothered to mention.

I'm just adding it in here in case FF.net randomly removes it and my hard drive crashes.

Title: Sauce for the Gander
Rating: R for language and violence.
Genre: Tragedy/Humor
Squicks: Rape
Characters: Primarily Zeus, Hephaestus and Clio
Word Count: 1860
Summary: Zeus is brought to justice for his crimes against women.

The hotel was across the street from the Court. In fact, the room, one of those fancy suites with a TV in the bath, had direct line of sight to the front steps and main entrance and the mobs of media and god groupies gathered there. That is why Hephaestus had selected it. Not that he registered as Hephaestus, of course. He wanted to make it easy for the investigating officers to find the source of the shot so he'd gone with tradition, John Smith. He'd even joked with the clerk about it.

"John Smith? Are you incognito or something?"

Hephaestus had waggled his attractively bushy eyebrows suggestively and said, "Don't you recognize me?"

The TV was tuned to ONN though Hephaestus listened with only half an ear. He had preparations to complete. Currently he was shaving over the sink. It was all recap anyway; the trial was over except for the verdict expected today.

The camera zoomed in. "Clio reporting for ONN from outside the court of Judge Forseti. You may recall that several judges, Atropos and Eunomia were the two foremost, had to recuse themselves because of a familial relationship with the accused. Finally, the Honorable Judge Forseti from the Aesir, volunteered his services. The verdict is expected today in the case some are calling the trial of the eon. Zeus, foremost among the gods is accused of kidnap, rape, assault and bestiality.

"The prominence of the defendant, the beauty of the witnesses and the stature of the accused's family has made this trial a place to see and be seen by the deiteratti." A montage of demigods and nymphs from Amphion to Zethus showed as Clio continued. "Only witnesses and the accused's family are allowed in the court. The press reports from a room where they view the trial on a closed circuit TV but reports must be filed from outside of the court.

"Of course, without the assistance of Hephaestus, the trial would have to be held in absentia. After we break for commercial we'll feature highlights from our interview with Hephaestus taped the night before the trial started."

Ignoring the advertisements for sanitary napkins and Midol, Hephaestus ordered room service but gave some attention to the TV as it showed a close-up of himself as Clio said, "Welcome, Hephaestus, god of artisans. Thanks for taking the time to speak to us."

On TV, the god was bearded, overweight and handsome under thick black framed glasses held together with duct tape across the nose; attractive if you liked teddy bears. That wasn't the guise he was wearing today. "Thanks for having me. Just call me Heph."

"Just call me Heph," mimicked the god. "What was I thinking?"

"Well, Heph," self-conscious at addressing the god so familiarly, "can you tell us about the device restraining Zeus for the duration of the trial?"

"It's simply a pair of shackles, specially forged to lock Dad's thunder, lightning and other powers. Here's a prototype," the geek god said, holding up a set of manacles. "The exact process is top secret. If I told you I'd have to kill you."

"'If I told you, I'd have to kill you.' Remind me never to give interviews."

"Please tell us why you helped bring your father to trial."

"The charges against my father are heinous crimes. It is only fair to his alleged victims, and to him as well, that these accusations be heard in a court of law. I'm sure Dad will be acquitted allowing the search for the actual perpetrators to begin, if in fact these allegations are not the products of diseased minds.

"The truth will set you free." At the end of the clip, the camera returned to Clio.

A knock on the door heralded room service. He forced himself to fondle the attractive blonde's ass and simulateded trying to get her digits. In recompense, he bestowed a hundred talent tip.

"The trial has polarized humanity, many people, mostly women, fervently believe in Zeus' innocence but there are equally fervent believers in his guilt.

There was a clear view out the window of the line of females chanting, "Free Zeus!" and being restrained from attacking the opposing group chanting, "Fry Zeus!" by a line of mounted police.

Clio asked, "Why do you believe in Zeus' innocence?"

"Because he's so dreamy, like Indiana Jones but studlier."

"Then there are the entrepreneurs, like this gentleman."

"Yeah, I sell T-shirts. So far, sales are about evenly divided between "Fry Zeus" and "Free Zeus" but "MY MOM WAS RAPED BY ZEUS And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" is doing very well.

A frown marred Hephaestus' face as this last tidbit penetrated his focus on his preparations, currently removing the window from its frame.

On the TV, Clio continued, "Central to the prosecution's case were the medical reports and evidence of the victims, especially Danae and Europa. Europa claims to have been kidnapped, held captive and assaulted by Zeus in the form of a white bull. The expert testimony on Europa's condition caused some members of the jury to become physically ill causing a brief suspension of the proceedings. Danae's statement of how she was imprisoned, violated by a heap of gold and then cast adrift locked in a chest have led to charges against her father, Acrisius, of child abuse and attempted murder."

He pitied his father's victims; he really did but he would have continued to turn a blind eye, as the other gods did, if it wasn't for Thetis, his mother in all but blood. She was broken, broken by Zeus' betrayal and the attentions of that mortal bastard. Sharing the experience had seemed to help and if not, at least she would have her vengeance.

"The defense countered that the DNA evidence implicated an eagle; Amphitryon, the lady's rightful husband; a satyr; Artemis; a bull and a swan but not Zeus. The ridiculous accusations that Zeus allegedly impregnated women while in the form of gold coins and a cloud were, just that, ridiculous.

"Now let's speak with another of Zeus' sons. Ares, is your father guilty?"

"If my father is found guilty, I hope he will receive the help the perpetrator of these crimes so clearly needs." Hephaestus tuned out the remainder of his asshole brother's response. Ares would be only too happy if Zeus were convicted, leaving a power vacuum on Olympus for Ares to fill, but he wasn't about to admit that on TV.

Several men and women, uniformly clad in chinos and polos, differing only in the shade of the polos and the logo of the news organization on the breast, came sprinting out of the building. A young woman ran up to Clio and handed her a note. "The jury has returned a verdict! The jury finds Zeus not guilty on all major counts but guilty of the two minor counts of bestiality!"

Sighing, Hephaestus took his weapon to the window and sighted it down at the top of the court's steps, waiting. It wouldn't do to hit an innocent bystander, not that the weapon would affect anyone besides the intended victim, he was a craftsman after all.

Zeus exited, all smiles, fist upraised in victory. He stepped to the ring of microphones, naturally unfazed by all the flashes, and said, "I want to thank the ladies and gentlemen of the jury for voting their consciences and doing the right thing. I hope my poor deluded accusers receive the treatment they deserve." These were to be Zeus' last coherent words.

Hephaestus fired his weapon, one of his finest works, if he did say so himself. A lance of sickly black and purple light shot down to Zeus below, enveloping him, briefly, in a nimbus the color of a new bruise. At first, he seemed unaffected and the reporters queried him as to whether the light was some manifestation. Feigning omniscience, Zeus began to lie, "It -"

The close-up on TV clearly showed Zeus' face change from victorious to confused to terrified. The deity clearly struggled with some internal distress but attempted to maintain his equanimity as his body was besieged with alien sensations, first fear; fear he would never see his family and friends again, fear of being washed off his mount by the waves, fear of his mount and what was to come; and then pain. His shoulder shattered as he was held down by an immense hoof; the bull's steamy breath in his ears. He felt he was being split in two as his legs were shoved apart and a large, long, warm, object penetrated his unprepared body, penetrated farther than any body was designed to be entered. He tried to keep his legs together but he was powerless against the assault. All the while, the God of Thunder was aware of the reporters but powerless against the hallucination that seemed equally real.

On TV, Zeus crumpled to the pavement, mewling in pain and terror.

There was a brief respite for Zeus and he struggled to regain himself, almost standing before he felt born down beneath a chill weight, then the cold metallic digits scrabbling first at his clothes, then at his tender skin before impaling him repeatedly. Finally, the monstrous thing left him alone. Though the sun shone brightly overhead, Zeus was also in a tiny, dark, wet place, alone with his baby. The place wallowed up and down, sometimes spinning, the rising water sloshing from side to side. He struggled to keep the baby dry. Again, he feared the waves but also starvation, his and his baby's. And there was the stink of human effluvia, piss and shit and vomit.

On his knees again, Zeus puked, splashing Clio's Ferragamos. As any Fury can tell you, any vengeance worth doing is worth overdoing. Europa contributed in a philanthropic effort to save other girls. Danae declined until the defense mocked both her testimony and her scarred person.

There was more darkness but this was quiet and peaceful afflicted only by pleasant dreams of whether to choose Poseidon or Zeus. Standing, the deity regained his usual glorious appearance apparently unaware of having just disgraced himself. Before Zeus could speak, he was slapped awake.

He struggled to retaliate against the assailant but found himself bound. His attacker tucked the front of his tunic into his belt, exposing his rampant member and making his intentions clear. Zeus fought as hard as he could, turning to fire but unable to burn the ropes, changing to a lion but unable to break the ropes. Throughout, the human struck him while shouting, "You can't escape, bitch. You're mine. He gave you to me, Zeus did. No god will have you, only me!" Broken by exhaustion and pain and betrayal, Zeus finally succumbed, unable to prevent the rapist from brutally slaking his lust in every orifice.

Hephaestus smiled grimly at a task well done as his father surrendered to the sensations of Europa, Danae and his own heart's mother, Thetis, on eternal replay. Satisfied, he packed up the device and left.

The investigating detectives would find plenty of DNA evidence, evidence that Zeus himself had occupied the room.


Tune: "Diga Diga Doo" by Ellington, Duke

It is clearer. Somehow, I suspect you need to spend some more character-development time with "Heph". Still think it is interesting.

Heph could well become a serial attacker of rapist Gods only to be brought down by Mr. Goody-goody himself: Prometheus. Can't have vigilante justice, can we?

If I have any further thoughts there is nothing to keep me from applying them.

Have been watching Hercules on Scifi and enjoying it, but don't know if that is b/c of the quality or the meds.

I enjoyed Hercules. I especially liked the team building retreat one. You do mean Legendary Journeys, right?

Um, think so.