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Ouatic-7 [userpic]
Ouatic-7 Needs a New Pair of Shoes

This is a meme-y thingy (thingy is my word of the week) that I saw yesterday when I was screwing around at work.

You Google "[Your Name Here] needs" and post the first 10 entries. Strangely, "ouatic-7 needs" returned zero entries so I tried again with my rl given name with better results. Here they are, slightly edited:

  1. Ouatic-7 needs to turn on the lights and get her glasses checked

  2. Ouatic-7 needs not a last name; her fame as cable-access talk-show queen succeeds her.

  3. Ouatic-7 needs additional volunteers to collect, review, and organize the data for one or more objects.

  4. Ouatic-7 needs to have Elmo's will probated,

  5. Ouatic-7 needs you, Wesley.

  6. Ouatic-7 needs to get out more.

  7. Ouatic-7 needs a certified teacher endorsed in chemistry and physics to teach all sciences in grades 7-12.

  8. Ouatic-7 needs to turn on the lights and get her glasses checked. (Again!)

  9. Ouatic-7 needs some time in the Boom Boom room with the soft white walls...

  10. Ouatic-7 needs a lot of help.

  11. Ouatic-7 needs to be added to the Griffin line as well as it's her Mum's maiden name.

I did 11 since one came up twice. I particularly like #2 and yes, I probably should do something about those glasses.

Note: I just read the pages relevant to #s 1 and 8. Apparently, some elderly woman mistook her beagle for a teapot!

Mood: determineddetermined
Tune: "Symphony No. 2 in D, Op.73: Allegro non troppo" by Brahms, Johannes

That was hilarious. I did the same with Black Lavender and got:

Black Lavender needs at least eight hours of light a day.

Black Lavender needs to be able to deal with the inevitable battles ahead.

Black Lavender needs extra water until the plants have settled in place.

Black Lavender needs a space at least two feet by two feet.

Black Lavender needs funding to cover the following areas.

Black Lavender needs a dozen cable sports channels.

Black Lavender needs more water.

Black Lavender needs to read the source code to understand.

Black Lavender needs three to six years to properly age.

Black Lavender needs some punch.

...so, I need punch, water, space, maturity and, of course!, more sports channels.

Sounds about right.

You forgot funding!

But in only 3 to 6 more years you will be properly aged.

1)Nokomarie needs a little love and fresh air and a shot or two of bleach.

2)Nokomarie needs a straight jacket.

3)Nokomarie needs to start learning how to focus.

4)Nokomarie needs to ease her frustration.

5)Nokomarie needs to set him straight and soon.

6)Nokomarie needs you here too.

7)Nokomarie needs a muse.

8)Nokomarie needs to be able to effectively communicate.

9)Nokomarie needs a Dell Axim.

10)Nokomarie needs setting straight on what's acceptable.

Of course the strange thing is that I wrote many of them myself. Google just spat them right back at me. I must be the only Nokomarie that has much archived on the web.

I was thinking they were so apropos you must have written them or there was some vasty coincidence, signaling the beginning of a convoluted novel, at work.

Current music: "Gotta knock a little harder" by Cowboy Bebop

My personal favorite was #9. Insane asylum anyone? But, Boom Boom room sounds so much more fun ;p

I also had to use my real name to get 10 results, but here they go (minus repeats of course).

1. Parsnip needs tuning lyrics.

2. Parsnip needs to go see her loan manager at her bank.

3. Parsnip needs your help with outfits!

4. Parsnip needs a break.

5. Parsnip needs more practice in arguement.

6. Parsnip needs help.

7. Parsnip needs to find herself.

8. Parsnip needs a volunteer.

9. Parsnip needs money.

10. Parsnip needs a cool head and a steady trigger finger.

What? O.o A steady trigger finger? o.O And apparently, I need a TON of tuning. Just about every other one said so. Meh.

I wanna know the story behind #10. It sounds very exciting. I imagine, being a student, money never hurts but you need to pick more fights with your roomies.
Current music: "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" by They Might Be Giants

It's the summary for a book called, Paradise Lost by J.A. Jance. Heh. I get to be a sheriff!!! Anyways, here's the link to the summary if you're interested.

No, no, no, I meant the story of why you, Parsnip_Chan, needed the steady trigger finger. Maybe you can work it into your college fic.

Doh. *smacks self* I should have known that. As for why i would need to have a steady trigger finger...let's just say there are many options. Crazy exams, rotations, construction work...

And you're not supposed to give me ideas for college fic!!! Although that'd make for a classic first or second date...*mulls it over*

re: #9
Heh. My #1 was a link to a site titled The Karen Needs A Lobotomy Fund.

Variants: "[name] wants", "[name] doesn't need"

Paul tried it and said all he got was the meme as posted by other Pauls.

Current music: "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen

Thus proving my vague theory about hit frequency and google. People named Paul must usually never post anything but memes. There's a point to that somewhere, but I am damned if I know what it is.

Maybe the point is that people named Paul don't have pseudonyms?

Or people named Paul use pseudonyms for everything but memes?

If you use it for everything, doesn't it become your actual name?

I use Nokomarie for everything I do online. It does cause mildly schizoid behavior.

Not to mention the suspicion that, one of these days, someone is going to ask my name and I'm going to pop out with that.

Are you trying to tell me that your folks did not in fact name you Nokomarie the Snake?

Bound by the heavy weight of tradition and a fit of shortsightedness in not consulting the nearest medium as to my preferences, they did not.