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Ouatic-7
ouatic_7
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Ouatic-7 [userpic]
300, Give or Take

MD and I went to see 300 yesterday. We saw it at the IMax because that's the screen it was on. I will say we couldn't have had a lovlier screening; it was the matinee and there was about 15 of us in the theater. They showed an IMax print instead of just running through a regular 35mm print so the picture and sound were just awesome.

Pity about the movie.

Here are some of the thoughts that ran through our heads...(slightly edited for our more sensitive viewers)

MD: Why is there a great big hole in the middle of Sparta? Don't Spartan babies fall in?

O-7: Is that the well? Poisoning the well with Persians doesn't seem like a good plan.

...

MD: Why are the Elphor so inbred? What about the beautiful Spartan oracles? And the diseases...is there like a sacred petri dish?

...

O-7: Too young to have known the warmth of a woman? But, isn't he like 25?

...

MD: Poor rhinoceros...

...

O-7 & MD: Poor elephants...

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MD: Where is Xerxes' awesome beard?

O-7: How is Xerxes supposedly doing the 'God Voice'?

...

O-7: Shouldn't a decapitation be more spurty?

...

O-7: How could Theron be ready? Was he wanking under his gown through the whole conversation? Or just really excited at screwing the queen? Twice?

...

MD: Why don't the Persians try something new?

...

MD: Xerxes seems like a nice modern guy.

...

O-7: Goriest closing credits I've ever seen.

O-7: The queen's name was Gorgo? No wonder everyone called her 'Queen'.

...

You may gather that we weren't entirely sucked into the movie.

MD: That's 2 1/2 hours I'll never get back.


And don't get me started on enumerating Spartans...

Tags:
Current Location: The usual
Mood: predatorysnarky
Tune: Yankovic, "Weird Al" - [Poodle Hat CD1 #05] Angry White Boy Polka
Comments

O-7: Shouldn't a decapitation be more spurty?

*chokes on green tea*

It's strange the things I find funny. Anyway, Mick is really hot to see this movie. to me, it looks like one long battle scene. Snoozeville.

Adding insult to injury, the Spartans weren't all that decorative, either!

I take it that's historically inaccurate?

I doubt it but they threw out Xerxes beard so, as long as we are sacrifucing history to the cinematic gods, we should have had more attractive Spartans. Honestly, there was nothing wrong with them; maybe it's just that no one looks good in that much detail (IMax, remember).

Obviously it should have been more spurty.

Obviously!

Now I feel intrigued by the movie. Our recreational viewing is pretty limited (really small town), we have to drive 45 miles to get to a theatre and I think 300 has already been and gone. Luckily for Rachel...

I didn't get a chance to comment on your heron. We have one that hangs out around here so I read up on them. They're very solitary birds and if they are in a place they feel safe they wade around looking for frogs/fish/crawfish all day. I don't think they're endangered, at least in AZ they're not uncommon.

It's very cool to see one. I love to watch him fly.

45 miles? You do live in the back of the beyond!

But you can rent the thing and seriously enjoy it together 'cuz you'll be able to snark audibly.

hmmm. I think I'll get more out of it if I stick with the script of you and MD critiqueing it. I forgot to say how funny you 2 are.

"MD: Why is there a great big hole in the middle of Sparta? Don't Spartan babies fall in?"

Considering that they throw their own babies off a cliff, any baby stupid enough to fall into da hole in the center of town isn't worthy enough to be a Spartan :P

"O-7: Shouldn't a decapitation be more spurty?"

Husband said the exact same thing.

lol...don't worry, we didn't care much for the movie either.

Considering that they throw their own babies off a cliff, any baby stupid enough to fall into da hole in the center of town isn't worthy enough to be a Spartan :P

That's pretty much what I told her duting our post-cinema rant. There's more than one way to enjoy a movie!

What, no comment on the 'awesome, revolutionary' effects? Supposedly this movie is visually stunning for those alone. I guess the fights weren't all that impressive either, huh?

I'm disappointed about the Spartan boys, though. I'll still see it, I think, though maybe not in the theater. Gerard Butler's voice does things for me.

What I'm aiming to see at the moment in Shia Lebouf in anything. Disturbia is out, and my brother (who hates scary movies) tells me it's good.

Doesn't Lebouf star in Transformers? That looks seriously cool, by the way.

Doesn't it? And Shia is one of the few -- the very few -- transplants to make good after a start on Disney. I love him whenever I see him. I think he's an excellent actor. ^^

I'm impressed by MD's snark. So...I noticed you were the one making the naughty comments about Theron and Elphor. That's what mom's for.

It's sad, but true, that I'm only the third wittiest person in the family.

Unless you count Evil.

I admire your wit so I'd have to say that I'd be very quiet if I visited, that way you and yours would still think I well of me.

I'm sure you'd hold your own.

Even against Evil?

Well, she is a cat so no. But at least you probably won't understand her.

Plus I'd have trouble doing the tail-flick, which is essential in cat snark.