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Ouatic-7
ouatic_7
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Halloween Challenge

Well, I produced an entry for nelson_bannaba and forthrightly's Halloween fic challenge.

If it seems a bit hurried, that's probably because it was. If it seems a bit familiar, it's because I'm a one trick pony. In other words, it's the same universe as Mrs. Higurashi Has Big News and The Toady Prince, or one near to it.

Rated R for Inuyasha's foul language.




Disclaimer: Inuyasha is the property of the copyright holders who aren’t me.

Wedding Bell Blues


“... speak now or forever hold your peace,” intoned the minister, solemnly.

“She's my shard detector! The bitch can't marry that little shit! ” There was a shocked inhale from all the guests who were not acquainted with Inuyasha, i.e. Kagome and Hojo's school friends and their parents.

“Inuyasha, you jerk! Sit boy! Sit boy! " Inuyasha was already 10 meters below ground level. "... Sit boy! Sit boy! Sit boy! Sit boy! ...” He was never seen again.

"That's just scary," whispered Souta to his soon to be step Dad. Sesshoumaru could only nod in bemused agreement.

“Kagome Higurashi, do you take this man to love honor and obey? In sickness and in health? As long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” responded the luminous bride with an adoring look at her almost husband.

"Ku! Ku! Ku! You fools! Sacred chains and the highest mountain in the land are not sufficient to imprison me!" cackled Naraku as he emerged from the crevasse left by Inuyasha's departure.

Muttering, “It’s just one damn hanyou after another,” but gesturing for the minister to continue, Mrs. Higurashi approached Naraku while putting on best her ruin-my-daughter’s-wedding-and-rue-the-day face. Before she even spoke, Naraku slunk back under the rock he crawled out from.

“That’s just scary,” said Sesshoumaru. Souta could only nod in awed agreement.

“Sasuke Hojo, do you take this woman to have and to hold? In sickness and in health? As long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” said the groom emphatically.

“What God has put together let no man put asunder. I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

~ O ~ O ~

“Aiiiiieeee!!!!” Jaken jerked awake, heart pounding. He looked around his own homey room, all was right except ...

“Honey, is there something wrong? You've woken up screaming every night since we were married,” said the warm, female body spooned up behind him.


~ O ~ O ~


Picture a field outside of Ypsilanti. The night is dark, a bit overcast and almost still. The only sounds are the occasional car off in the distance.

A distant rumbling is heard. It comes nearer, nearer, until the earth erupts, spewing a bedraggled hanyou out next to a boo sized pumpkin. “Fuck! I bit my tongue!”

This is not the end of Inuyasha’s journey. Eventually his talents lead him to the DEA where he becomes one of their most successful agents. But, that is another story.



THE END



NOTE: Jaken wanted to be called Jakenmaru Hojo but Sesshoumaru put the kibosh on that.



I started out to do a "Worst Nightmare" drabble but it got away from me:
Under 1031 words
2, count 'em, 2 alternate pairings
The lovely Naraku
A brief pumpkin appearance
"That's just scary." x 2!
Someone got bitten

Comments

there were so many things i giggled at! loved sessy and souta. loved inu getting his comeuppance twice (and biting himself). and WHERE did it occur to you to send him to the DEA? that's just brilliant. i'm not sure why, but it is!

Thanks much!

WHERE did it occur to you to send him to the DEA?

It just occurred to me that with Inuyasha's nose they could cut out the middle dog and he would enjoy roughing up miscreants.

exactly! that's why is was so perfect! well done. very enjoyable.

you're gonna get sess/mrs. h together one way or the other, eh? even tho sess is only supposed to be 19 or something (or was when inu got pinned - so that makes him 69?)

Mrs. Higurashi's Sesshoumaru didn't come through the well; he lived through the intervening 500 years. That ought to have put some maturity on him.

ah. yes. maybe enough for her (maybe not). i always think of her as extremely mature (to not freak out at her daughter's traipsing around - course, who really knows how much parents even know about their kids' traisping!).

I thought she didn't freak out because she already knows how the story ends from Grandpa's stories that Kagome would never listen to.

well, that's a good theory!

i think grandpa is miroku reincarnated... and mrs. h is sango.

just sayin'

That explains why Grandpa keeps thinking he has powers!

exactly! except that all the magic has drained from the world in modern times. pity really....

Blinks watering eyes, it all seems so very wrong...

Yes, yes, it does.

Not a bad 'trick'! You managed to 'pony up' a suitable frolic for our All Hallow's fun!

I feel sorry for poor Jaken. He really wanted to be named Jakenmaru.

Hm... does 'Jakenmaru' translate to 'Perfect Green Sex Machine'?

I must offer you (and Noko) humble thanks, by the way. My new position entails knowledge of basic HTML (no more complicated than what is required for an LJ posting), and I surprised my supervisor when I demo'd my understanding of it during training the other day. 'Who taught you that?' she asked. 'A professional I met online.' Veeeeeery long pause in the conference call...

So, thanks for your patience in explaining the basics all those months ago, and for making me look good!

Hm... does 'Jakenmaru' translate to 'Perfect Green Sex Machine'?

Only in Jaken's own mind.

Hey!, I'm always happy to show off! I'm a litle shaky on the details of your new job. Could you refresh my memory, please?

I was kicked 'upstairs' to take over Search Engine Optimization. I analyze and make recommendations for client websites to improve their search engine friendliness by streamlining and integrating their keywords, meta tags and content.

The unsolicited comments on layout, design and colour choice are free of charge...

The unsolicited comments on layout, design and colour choice are free of charge...

Worth oodles more, I'm sure.